Hell Yes I Mangled Donald Trump’s Hand On Purpose, Macron Says

Image by means of screengrab By this point, every world leader has heard tell of Donald Trump and his infamous pulling handshake. It’s billed as a power relocation, though my personal theory is that his hands are just too little for individual finger control, and for that reason just clamp onto their victims like a ribbon snake’s little jaws clamp onto a guppy.Newly-elected French President Emmanuel Macron was warned of Trump’s salutatory death roll ahead of their meeting in Brussels on Thursday, and most likely studied hours of previous Trump handshake footage like a quarterback sees old game tape. What resulted was this strange, extended tussle, mano-a-mano pequeño:

God, that resembled watching 2 squids mate. The finest part comes at the end, after Macron has actually completed crushing each of Trump’s phalanges, when the American Meatloaf attempts to pull his decimated paw from Macron’s iron grip. “Not now, ma small saucisse,” Macron says with his eyes, hanging on tight. Eventually, after something like 20 hours of battle, the hands are launched. The conclusion of the sit-down most likely saw them both retreat back to their corners for medical help and an ice bath, prizefighter-style.

Macron has actually confirmed to French media that the marathon hand mambo was not an accident. You don’t say! From The Guardian:”

My handshake with him, it wasn’t innocent,” Macron told the Journal du Dimanche on Sunday. “It’s not the be-all and the end-all of a policy, however it was a crucial moment.”

The French president, who had actually never ever held elected workplace prior to decisively beating far-right leader Marine Le Pen in this month’s overflow, included: “That’s how you guarantee you are appreciated. You have to reveal you won’t make small concessions– not even symbolic ones.”

True, real. It’s tough to envision that Trump’s hands are that strong anyway, given that it’s not like he exercises them or fills his body with anything besides meat and heavy creams.

What’s next for the handshake chronicles? No one knows for sure, but I ‘d like to see Angela Merkel bite among them off.


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